TV personality Jaquie Brown had radiation treatment on Monday following her breast cancer diagnosis and it was a hug from one of the nurses that brought her to tears.
"I'm honestly, I'm a bit tearful," she told RNZ shortly after.
"The nurses have been so kind to me, she gave me a really big hug. And it's when people show you kindness, it just unravels you. You’re meeting me at an emotionally fragile time."
Brown, 50, was told in April that she had cancer in her left breast, despite years of clear mammograms. A month later she had a mastectomy.
"We have a tendency to have a mammogram and think, 'oh, yep, that's done for the year. Don't need to worry about that'.
"But this happened to me in between mammograms," she said.
"It was probably there for a good couple of years being evasive and not being picked up because of the way that it grows, which is like a very thin web-like cancer."
Brown shared the news in a Facebook post last week. The response from fans and friends was overwhelming, she said.
"It's like a reverse funeral. Because when you die, you never hear what people really thought of you or any kind of kind comments. Not that I'm going to die anytime soon, but it was a beautiful way for me to, you know, read such lovely, supportive comments. And it really was, you know, affirming and beautiful."
Brown said she had been fit and healthy, but one day noticed in the mirror "a small dent on the underside of my left boob".
"I just put it down to weight loss, because I've been going to the gym a lot, and I sort of ignored it and then I was sitting on the couch, maybe a couple months later, and I brushed my arm across, and I felt an actual pea-sized lump. And I panicked. I went into deep research mode. It was terrifying. I've never felt that before. I've never felt a lump before, and I've never felt the fear before."
Days later Brown saw a specialist and biopsy reports revealed she had cancer in her left breast and a full mastectomy was to follow.
"I was just, what? Are you? No, come on. Where's the? What? Come on. This has to be, you've got it wrong. I'm so healthy. I'm so healthy. It's like bargaining with her.
"…. There were so many thoughts going through my head. Am I going to survive? How bad is it? What do I tell the kids? And then of course, my thought went to Dai [Henwood] of all the work that we did together."
In 2023, Brown interviewed her friend, comedian Dai Henwood about his cancer diagnosis on TV3's The Project. She also wrote her friend’s memoir, The Life of Dai in 2024.
Henwood lives with stage four bowel cancer which had spread to his liver and lungs. He was diagnosed in 2020 when the country was in lockdown.
Brown has been put into "chemical menopause … I'm just going through it", she said.
"It’s bumpy, and I'm emotional, and I'm trying my best. It is hard some days. But the thing I found the most alarming was that I had clear mammograms, and it was still there, this particular type of cancer.
"I just want to encourage all New Zealand women not to think, just not to cause alarm, not to freak anybody out, but to stay in touch with your boobs. You look at them, talk to them, love them, squeeze them, know what your normal is."
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