'Mama finally found you': Mum's words after DNA confirms son's remains

DNA testing confirmed remains found on an offshore Coromandel island belonged to Waihī father of three Samuel McAlister, who vanished in September 2023.

A mother says "every prayer, every sleepless night, every unanswered question and every ounce of heartache finally found its release" after DNA testing confirmed her missing son's remains had been found on an offshore Coromandel island.

Waihī father of three Samuel McAlister went missing while kayak fishing with a friend on the Firth of Thames, north of Thames, in September 2023.

The sea turned rough and the 25-year-old lost his paddle. When his friend's attempt to tow him in failed, he tied Samuel to a mussel buoy and went for help.

By the time he returned with a boat, Samuel and his kayak were gone. A multi-day search by police, Coastguard and volunteer search-and-rescue teams failed to find him.

Two years, four months and two days after Samuel went missing — on January 13 this year — his mother, Haidee Ainsley, got the call she'd been waiting for.

A man sailing around New Zealand had moored his boat in a bay off Motukaramarama Island, also known as Bush Island, on January 5.

Ainsley said the man had taken his dog ashore for a walk on the uninhabited island offshore from Colville, part of the Motukawao Islands group in the Hauraki Gulf. He came across human skeletal remains scattered among the rocks and immediately notified police.

"To this man, you to me are an angel sent from God. My heart thanks him for you every day," she said.

Samuel McAlister with his mother Haidee Ainsley.

A recovery operation followed, and examinations by a pathologist and an anthropologist found it was highly possible the remains belonged to Samuel.

On January 13, Ainsley received a call telling her of the news.

"So many emotions hit all at once," she said. "Relief, heartbreak, gratitude, grief, love and sorrow all collided together."

What followed was another five months of waiting as DNA testing worked to verify the identification – a wait that would see doubt creep in, Ainsley said.

"Life continued with all of its usual challenges, and while dealing with everyday responsibilities and family matters, I was also carrying the emotional and mental weight of waiting for answers. It was exhausting in ways that are difficult to explain."

'Finally found release'

A man sailing around New Zealand had moored his boat in a bay off Motukaramarama Island, also known as Bush Island, on January 5 this year.

But on Tuesday, DNA results confirmed the remains were a match to Samuel's father Jamie.

Comparing DNA against a close relative is a standard way to confirm identity from skeletal remains, as inherited genetic markers can establish a family match even without a pre-existing DNA sample from the missing person themselves.

Ainsley said the weight of the last two years and nine months seemed to crash over her in that moment.

"I cried in a way that only a mother who has lost a child could truly understand. It was as though every prayer, every sleepless night, every unanswered question and every ounce of heartache finally found its release."

The family has since decided against a second recovery operation on the island after learning it was an urupa — Māori burial ground traditionally treated as sacred and not to be disturbed.

"As this island was an urupa it would be wrong to dig the land. This in itself was a big decision to make but now this Island will always be a sacred place for us too."

The family is now making funeral arrangements for Samuel, who is survived by his three children, Rhythm, Kahu and Amiyah; his mother; and his siblings Nikita, Tanson, Tyrone and Mathew.

"To Samuel's children — know that your daddy is loved beyond measure and missed every single day," Ainsley wrote.

"We will continue to honour him and carry his memory forward together."

She said the grief remained raw even with answers.

"These days are incredibly hard, and there are moments when the grief feels as fresh as it did on day one. But I know with all my heart that God will bring good from this somehow, because that is who He is."

Ainsley thanked everyone who had supported the family through the search.

"Thank you to every person who prayed, supported us, searched, hoped and stood beside our family over these past years. Your kindness has meant more than you will ever know."

She closed her post with a message to her son.

"Samuel, my beautiful boy, Mama finally found you. All praise to God for answered prayer. Until we meet again."

Police were contacted for comment.

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