It’s been another big year of news. Elections. Natural disasters. World Cups. Bird contests. So, what did people have to say about it all?
In no particular order, here are the quotes that summed up the mood, from the tragic to the ridiculous, of 2023.
'We’re not going to sit around the Cabinet table with this clown.'
- David Seymour talking about a potential coalition with Winston Peters
ACT leader David Seymour and New Zealand First leader Winston Peters had enjoyed a years-long sledging match prior to the 2023 election.
When asked about the potential of forming a government alongside Peters on the Gone by Lunchtime podcast in September, Seymour didn’t hold back.
“I just make the point that we’re not going to sit around the Cabinet table with this clown,” he said. “I mean, there’s so many reasons why you wouldn’t trust them.”
Seymour apparently got over those trust issues and is, in fact, sitting around the Cabinet table with Peters every week for the foreseeable future.
'I don’t know him.'
- Christopher Luxon when asked about Winston Peters during a Newshub leaders’ debate
The National Party leader also tried to distance himself from Peters prior to the election, saying he didn’t know the veteran politician when asked about working with him in a coalition government.
“Everyone knows him, he’s Winston Peters!” replied debate moderator Paddy Gower.
Luxon certainly knows him now.
'It was pretty much like telling them I just ran out of milk.'
- Campbell Johnstone, All Black number 1056, on how he confided in some of his teammates and his family that he was gay
Johnstone became the first All Black to publicly come out as gay in January, when he shared his story with Seven Sharp.
“If I can be the first All Black that comes out as gay and take away the pressure and stigma surrounding the issue, it can actually help other people,” he said.
'To Neve, Mum is looking forward to being there when you start school next year. To Clarke, let’s finally get married.'
- Jacinda Ardern after revealing she was standing down as Prime Minister
January also saw the shock resignation of Jacinda Ardern as Prime Minister, as she decided she "no longer had enough in the tank" to do the job justice.
Ardern talked about having more time for her family.
"I have no plan. No next steps. All I know is that whatever I do, I will try and find ways to keep working for New Zealand, and I am looking forward to spending time with my family once again. Arguably they are the ones that have sacrificed the most out of all of us.”
'It looks like Pauly D f***** a swan.'
- US TV presenter John Oliver talks about the pūteketeke
New Zealand’s annual bird contest, Bird of the Year, got a big boost for its Bird of the Century campaign, with the HBO show Last Week Tonight deciding to get behind the pūteketeke.
Unsurprisingly, Oliver’s “alarmingly aggressive” campaign, with billboards in some of the world’s busiest districts, saw the pūteketeke win the contest with a majority of 277,470 votes.
"When you talk about historic, all-time levels of dominance, the conversation now begins and ends with Michael Jordan, Lionel Messi, Serena Williams and the pūteketeke,” Oliver said.
'Up the Wahs!'
- The Warriors’ faithful (and everyone else who jumped on that bandwagon)
This year was going to be the Warriors’ year. Again.
With excitement levels at a fever pitch as the Warriors marched towards the NRL Grand Final, the rallying cry of “Up the Wahs,” could be heard everywhere. Former Speaker of the House Adrian Rurawhe even brought the 53rd Parliament to a close with the phrase.
But it wasn’t to be, with the Warriors crashing to a 42-12 loss to the Broncos in the preliminary final.
'Someone’s got a gun inside!'
- A worker on a building site at 1 Queen Street, Auckland, on July 20.
Early that morning, Matu Reid used a pump-action shotgun to kill two people - Tupuga Sipiliano and Solomona To’oto’o - and injure 10 others, including two police officers.
Reid was found dead in the building shortly afterwards.
'Anyhow I've got to deal with media drongos over the flooding tomorrow so sadly no tennis for me.'
- Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown to a WhatsApp group
The flooding that hit Auckland over its anniversary weekend took everyone by surprise, with the city’s mayor one of those in the firing line over the handling of the flood response.
That criticism of Wayne Brown intensified after text messages from his tennis WhatsApp group were leaked, demonstrating his disappointment at missing out on a match while he dealt with “media drongos”.
The flooding saw four people lose their lives and caused billions of dollars in property damage, with many Aucklanders still dealing with the fallout from that night of intense rain.
'We just watched it unfold in front of us. And watched our town basically get drowned.'
- A resident of Te Karaka following Cyclone Gabrielle
Not long after the Auckland Anniversary floods, the country was hit by Cyclone Gabrielle, with Hawke’s Bay and Tairāwhiti bearing the brunt of the storm.
The cyclone claimed the lives of 11 people.
'It is something I am going to have to live with forever.'
- All Blacks captain Sam Cane after being shown a red card during the Rugby World Cup final
The men’s Rugby World Cup final was thrown into disarray during its first half after referee Wayne Barnes, via the television match official, sent Cane off for a high tackle on South Africa’s Jesse Kriel.
The All Blacks eventually lost the match 12-11.
'I’m definitely not outdoorsy, so I’m frightened. Nature’s disgusting.'
- James Mustapic during the opening episode of Celebrity Treasure Island
Mustapic eventually proved you can be a frightened, not-outdoorsy person and still reign supreme on Celebrity Treasure Island.
The comedian went on to win the show and the $100,000 prize for his chosen charity, Gender Minorities Aotearoa.
But perhaps the most memorable quote from the series actually came from his fellow competitor, former television presenter Mary Lambie, who shouted “F*** you, you f***ing f***er” down the camera after her team captain Jordan Vandermade chose not to save her from elimination.
'None of my MPs beat people up with a bed leg.'
- Labour leader Chris Hipkins during the final Leaders’ Debate
Hipkins came out fighting during the final leaders’ debate of the election campaign, serving his most savage comment in response to Christopher Luxon pointing out Hipkins had lost several Cabinet ministers over several months earlier this year.
"People in glass houses shouldn’t be throwing stones,” Hipkins retorted. “None of my MPs beat people up with a bed leg."
The insult was a reference to National MP for Tauranga, Sam Uffindell, who was accused of beating a younger boy while he was a student at King’s College.
'You stole my f***ing wedding country.'
- Kim Kardashian accuses her sister, Kourtney, of... wedding crimes?
Celebrity sisters Kim and Kourtney Kardashian spent part of the year feuding over Italy, if their reality TV show is to be believed.
“I got married in Italy. Am I saying you copied me by getting married in Italy?” Kim asked during an episode of the show.
“Who performed at my wedding? Andrea Bocelli. Who performed at Kourtney’s wedding? Andrea Bocelli.
“You stole my f***ing wedding country and my wedding performer. Andrea Bocelli is my favourite male singer of all time, but I’m copying her dolce vita lifestyle? Okay.”
Relatable.
'I know what causes violence in this world and it’s white cis men.'
- Green Party co-leader Marama Davidson during a counter-protest to an event held by anti-trans activist Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull aka Parker Posie
Davidson made the comment when confronted by a Counterspin representative as she left the event.
“I am a prevention violence minister, and I know what causes violence in this world and it’s white cis men,” she said.
Davidson later clarified her remarks, saying she had been pushing back “on the harmful and false narrative that trans people are one of the biggest risks to women”, as well as being in shock, having just been struck by a motorbike.
“This is simply not true,” she said. “Violence happens in every community. Any person can be a victim of violence, but we cannot get away from the fact that the perpetrators of sexual violence or family violence are mostly men."
'I knew I had to jump out the window or just burn inside the building.'
- Tala Sili, one of the survivors of the Loafers Lodge fire
Just after midnight on May 16, a fire broke out at Loafers Lodge, a 92-room short-term accommodation block in Wellington.
Many were able to escape the fire, even if it meant jumping out of windows like Tala Sili, but five people died. A 48-year-old man has been charged with their murder.
'I’ve never seen a bunch of people less well-equipped to run a country.'
- A note entered as evidence at the UK Covid-19 Inquiry
An inquiry is being held into the UK’s response to Covid-19 and much of the evidence has been damning of its government’s actions during the height of the pandemic.
Messages between two senior civil servants from that time were released during the inquiry.
In one of them, Simon Case, who has led the UK civil service since September 2020, wrote: “I’ve never seen a bunch of people less well-equipped to run a country.”
Evidence has also claimed current UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak said to “just let people die” in October 2020, when he was Finance Minister.
The UK has had the highest number of deaths from Covid-19 in western Europe, with more than 202,000 people confirmed dead as of January 2023.
'New Zealand is under new management.'
- Prime Minister Christopher Luxon during his speech to kick off the new term of parliament.
Luxon used his speech to again outline his government’s priorities, as well as put the boot into Opposition leader and former Prime Minister Chris Hipkins.
"He is actually like an arsonist, who having thrown accelerant all over the joint and lit the place up, he doesn't slink off leaving the scene ... He just simply loiters and hangs around at the scene of the crime, actually just waiting and watching everything,” Luxon said.
Hipkins used his own speech that day to say he respected New Zealanders had voted for change but that he didn’t think “the change they're getting is the change they thought they were voting for."
He concluded: "We're absolutely resolved that for the first time in New Zealand's history, this will be the first one-term National government."
'How big is his hole?'
"That is not in the public interest, I can assure you," Grant Robertson responded to her unfortunately worded question. (Source: 1News)
- Nicola Willis during question time in Parliament.
The political discourse was awash with chat about financial holes this year as parties traded barbs over the costings of various programmes and election promises.
National’s Nicola Willis got caught up in that rhetoric in August while asking questions of then-Finance Minister Grant Robertson in the debating chamber. It went wildly off track when she opened with a “how big is his hole” before trailing off and trying to compose herself as those around her erupted in laughter.
“That is not in the public interest, I can assure you,” Robertson said.
Willis later clarified she was asking about “the New Zealand Government’s financial hole”.
The clangers didn't stop there though. Willis also caused giggles in the House following her mini-budget this month when she compared the Government's promised tax cuts to a sausage.
"I would put to the member, a way of summarising [our tax cuts] - what New Zealanders care about is the size of the sausage, not how it’s delivered," she said.
As her fellow MPs laughed, she added: “Mr Speaker, it’s been a year of bad quotes from me.”
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