Forty years ago the Homosexual Law Reform Bill decriminalised consensual sex between men. But for James Peters the campaign wasn't just about changing the law. It was where he met the love of his life - Matthew Muir, who would go on to become the country's first openly gay High Court Judge, reports Aziz Al Sa'afin.
The laughter comes easily these days for James and Matthew, sitting in their home flicking through old photo albums, teasing each other about hairstyles, clothes and memories that span more than four decades.
There are photographs from overseas adventures, milestones in remarkable careers and a lifetime built together, one they describe as "ordinary".
But 40 years ago, that "ordinary" life was anything but guaranteed.
"I thought I was the only gay person in the world," James says. "I didn't quite know how to grapple with it because I thought not only was I the only gay in the village, I thought I was the only gay in the world.
"I didn't even know what the word 'gay' meant. I didn't really know what the word 'homosexual' was. I had no one to talk to about it. That was the toughest part of growing up in those days."
Now 83, James has lived many lives. He has built successful businesses, travelled the world and helped change New Zealand forever. Yet when he reflects on the person who shaped him most, he doesn't begin with politics. He begins with his mother.
"I never discussed my coming out with my mother. I think she inherently knew I was different."
Years later, after deciding to be honest about living with another man, James remembers agonising over whether to tell her before she came to stay.
He says the following morning, she walked into the bedroom carrying a tray with two cups and a pot of tea.
"She opened the curtains and said, 'Beautiful day. Time to get up.'
"She didn't have to say anything, she was quite an amazing woman. Her favourite phrase was, 'be true to yourself'."
Quiet acceptance
His mother's quiet acceptance would become one of the guiding principles of his life.
"I always thought, if you're going to be accepted, it's because of the person you are - not your sexuality."
Those values would soon be tested.
By the mid-1980s, New Zealand was locked in one of the most divisive social debates in its history because homosexuality between consenting men was still a criminal offence.
When the Homosexual Law Reform Bill was introduced, James joined the Gay Task Force - a small group of volunteers determined to change the law.
For the next two years, campaigning became his full-time life.
The team travelled the country speaking at public meetings, challenging misconceptions and supporting frightened young gay New Zealanders wondering whether their country would ever accept them.
Then, one day, someone asked James for help because one of the many young men he was helping had landed in legal trouble and needed representation.
James began searching for a lawyer and that's when he met Matthew.
"Matt came out in this double-breasted suit," James laughs. "And I thought, 'oh no, here we go.'
"I said, 'Matt, you've been wonderful, but I'm working on the Task Force and I can't afford your rates.'
"He said, 'I'll do this as my contribution to the gay cause'."
Very few openly gay lawyers
Neither man imagined that meeting would change both of their lives. At the time, Matthew was one of very few openly gay lawyers in Auckland.
"There were a number of gay lawyers," he recalls, "but they very much kept to themselves and flew under the radar."
As a young solicitor, he believed his sexuality would place a ceiling on his career.
"You could never take your place at the table in anything. You could never be yourself and develop your career openly."
But he says he could also sense that New Zealand was changing.
"The winds of change were coming. I realised we were on the cusp of something."
While James travelled the country campaigning alongside other Gay Task Force members, Matthew quietly built his legal career.
And somewhere along the way, the lawyer who had agreed to help became the love of James' life. The two have now been together for more than 40 years.
On July 9, 1986, Parliament voted 49 votes to 44 to decriminalise homosexual acts between consenting adult men. For James, it remains one of the most emotional nights of his life. For Matthew, it transformed what he believed was possible.
"It opened the door to achieve whatever my potential was," he says.
"Within a couple of years I became a partner in one of the national law firms."
That career would eventually take him to the High Court, where he became New Zealand's first openly gay High Court judge.
"It simply would never have happened without law reform," he says.
Looking back now, Matthew says the greatest victory wasn't simply changing legislation - but the chance to build an ordinary life.
'I wanted a long-term relationship'
"My sexuality is now about as irrelevant as my eye colour in the eyes of my profession, my friends and my relatives. That's perhaps a little more than I expected."
When asked what they think their younger selves would make of the lives they've built together, both men smile.
James says he always dreamed of finding a lifelong partner.
"I wanted a long-term relationship with somebody who had the same values and the same sense of humour. I've been lucky enough to get there."
While Matthew describes James as "the co-author of my life".
"He's been the most solid, reliable, supportive and encouraging partner through all the ups and downs."
James doesn't hesitate when asked what Matthew means to him after four decades together.
"If I had to choose a partner all over again, I would choose Matthew. I respect him, I love him, I trust him."
But he says perhaps the most meaningful moment came years after the campaign had ended.
James' mother was visiting the couple at their beach house when she quietly asked to have a cup of tea with her son. By then she was in her late eighties.
"I remember she leaned towards me and said, 'I've been watching you and Matthew together. I am so happy that you are happy with him,'" James' voice cracking as he recalls the memory.
"I remember thinking that was a remarkable thing to say for a woman of her generation. I always felt really loved by her and I knew she loved us together."
Forty years after helping change New Zealand's laws, James and Matthew find themselves celebrating another anniversary.
Not just the law that transformed countless lives, but the life it helped make possible for them.
NZ's first openly gay High Court judge on the fight that changed the country on TVNZ+
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