Eve van Graafhorst was just 11 years old when she died in Hawke’s Bay in 1993 — but in her short life, she helped reshape how New Zealand understood HIV and AIDS.
Now, 32 years on, her mother Gloria is reflecting on Eve’s impact, the life she lived in the public eye, and the small, everyday moments she misses most.
"It's the cuddles," Gloria said.
"And the little chats."
Eve was born prematurely in Australia in the early 1980s and required blood transfusions to survive. One of those transfusions infected her with HIV.
At the time, the virus sparked fear and misinformation. In Australia, that fear quickly turned into prejudice.
Gloria says neighbours crossed the street to avoid them. Families boycotted daycare centres. Eve was locked out of kindergarten.
"Our neighbours built a six foot high fence," she later said.
"They even tried to kill our dog because they believed HIV could be spread by fleas."
By the time Eve was three, Gloria feared her daughter would be hidden away, excluded from society entirely, so the family made the decision to leave Australia and move to Gloria's hometown in Hawke's Bay.
When they arrived in New Zealand in June 1986, the reception could not have been more different.
Family, friends and strangers were waiting at the airport. Schools across the country sent invitations. Eve was welcomed into preschool, playing alongside other children.
"It was the absolute opposite of how it unfolded in Australia," Gloria said.
But while Eve was embraced, her life was never normal.
She was living with a terminal illness, and she was aware of it. Still, she wanted to use her life to teach others not to be afraid.
Eve's story reached a national audience after appearing on The Holmes Show, where broadcaster Paul Holmes interviewed her several times over the years. He later said his work with Eve was among the most important of his career.
Through those appearances, Eve humanised HIV and AIDS — visiting schools, hospitals and public events, speaking openly about the virus that was killing her.
She became especially known for taking part in hugathons.
At one event, a man approached her, offering money but hesitating to hug her, afraid of catching HIV.
Eve simply held out her arms and said: "You can't catch AIDS from me."
As treatments advanced slowly, Eve trialled early HIV drugs in what her mother describes as their "rawest form".
By her final year, she was visibly declining but still determined to keep travelling and educating others.
"That was all her," Gloria said. "It was what she wanted to do."
Eve died at home in Havelock North in November 1993.
Today, Gloria lives in the UK but remains closely connected to Eve's memory. Friends in New Zealand tend Eve's garden. Sometimes, Gloria visits it by video call — phone placed among the flowers so she can spend time there.
SHARE ME