A woman who says she was raped by five gang members more than 40 years ago is "horrified" police have lost her file.
By Sam Sherwood of RNZ
Warning: This story contains discusses rape and sexual assault.
The woman says she feels "invalidated, bewildered and retraumatised".
The woman, who RNZ is calling Sarah, alleges that in 1983 when she was 16 she was "brutally assaulted and raped" by five gang members.
Following the attack she went to Auckland HELP, who arranged a medical examination. She says she underwent a full forensic examination, including the collection of DNA evidence and a rape kit.
Photographs were also taken of her injuries and police carried out an investigation.
A sexual assault contact sheet that was filled out in 1983, recently sent by Auckland HELP to the woman, records that she was "ambivalent" about police involvement due to "fears of retaliation".
Sarah says at the time there were threats from the gang against her and her family.
"The police wanted me to press charges, but I was uncertain and frightened. The threats had not been properly addressed, and I had no sense that there was any protection or support available to me."
At the age of 16, she also did not want to have to go to court and give evidence.
Sarah eventually decided to leave the country due to concerns for her safety.
"My understanding at the time was that the forensic evidence had been collected and retained, so if I changed my mind later, there would still be evidence available. I believed I had that option," she says.
Last year, she decided to contact the police to see what was on her file.
"I wanted to see the photographs, the evidence, the interviews and, perhaps, find some closure around what had happened to me.
"For years, I had been circling around the edges of this. I had largely put it away, believing that it was all resolved in the sense that there was nothing more to be done. But there was always a curiosity about what had actually been documented and what evidence remained."
She was not sure whether she wanted to pursue charges, and presumed the men involved may have since died.
"But I wanted to know what was there, to see how badly I had been injured, and to understand whether I might still have the option of pursuing justice if I chose to."
However, police were unable to find her file.
In response to questions from RNZ, Detective Inspector Scott Beard said police had "exhausted all available lines of enquiry in relation to finding this complaint".
"We understand this is an upsetting and distressing incident and have spoken to the complainant to outline our efforts to locate the file or any related information.
"Police has maintained open and full communication with the complainant, and after consultation with her, the case is not being reopened."
Beard said that in today's system these files would be electronic and easily retained and/or obtained, compared to a manual system in 1983 when filing decisions and policies were different.
Sarah said she was "horrified" when she was informed the file could not be found.
"To discover that it had apparently been lost, as though it had never mattered, was devastating," she said.
"The evidence was important. It was also a form of reassurance. I knew that, whatever happened, there was a record of what had been done to me. I had the knowledge that the photographs, the forensic evidence and the interviews existed. They were a connection to my own history and a safeguard should I ever decide to revisit it."
Sarah also reached out to Auckland HELP who were able to find some information, but told her that the majority of the file was destroyed in 1993, as per their process at the time.
Executive director Kathryn McPhillips told RNZ in a statement that Auckland HELP's thoughts were with Sarah.
"We are very sorry when we are unable to provide someone with the information they are looking for."
The specialist provider of sexual abuse support services' record-keeping practices in the 1980s "reflected the standards and guidance in place at the time" which generally involved retaining client files for about 10 years, McPhillips said.
"When a full file was destroyed, wherever possible HELP retained a record that the person had engaged with our service, and, during some periods, basic information about that engagement.
"Over time, we have developed a much greater understanding of the lifelong impacts of sexual violence, and the reasons survivors may need to access information about support they received many decades earlier. People may return to us for a range of reasons, including as part of their own healing, to support legal or other processes, or because they are seeking to protect children and future generations."
McPhillips said that in "recognising the importance these historical records can hold for survivors," HELP had paused the destruction of client files.
"We review our retention practices regularly, taking into account survivors' needs alongside our privacy, legal and professional obligations. We know the impacts of sexual abuse can continue or resurface many years later."
In relation to Police not being able to find the file, McPhillips said some people take "many years, or even decades before they feel able or ready to seek accountability through the justice system".
"For a survivor who has taken that step, learning that a historical complaint or related records cannot be located can be deeply distressing and disappointing.
"This case highlights why the retention of historical sexual violence records is so important. Sexual violence can have lifelong impacts, and survivors may return to the justice system many years after an offence occurred. This is particularly significant for offences such as rape, where there is no statute of limitations preventing a prosecution because of the passage of time."
While she was unable to comment on the circumstances surrounding Police's involvement in relation to Sarah, she said HELP believed survivors "should be able to have confidence that reports of sexual violence, including historical reports, are treated with the seriousness and care they deserve".
Sarah said what happened to her "shaped my sense of life, my identity, my relationships, my trust in people and my understanding of the world".
"I carried shame and blame that were never mine to carry," she said.
"I have lived with trauma, hypervigilance, fear and a deeply ingrained belief that the world is not necessarily a safe place. I know what it is to have nightmares that are real. I know what it is to spend your life anticipating danger and protecting yourself."
Sarah said she felt "invalidated and disrespected".
"These records are not just administrative paperwork. They represent a part of my life, my history and my survival."
Where to get help:
Rape Crisis: 0800 88 33 00.
Rape Prevention Education.
Empowerment Trust.
HELP (Auckland): 09 623 1700, (Wellington): 04 801 6655.
Safe to talk: 0800 044 334.
Tautoko Tāne Male Survivors Aotearoa.
Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) 022 344 0496.
NZ Police.
SHARE ME