A Christchurch mother is calling for an extension to bereavement leave days for grieving families.
Sheena Hemens, who tragically lost her daughter in 2023, said New Zealand should take inspiration from other countries. She said the current three-day allowance was not enough time to organise a funeral, let alone grieve.
She told Breakfast she believed it to be a matter of basic rights as it could be dangerous for someone to return to full-time work before they were ready – and it failed to acknowledge cultural obligations around mourning.
“How can they do those things that are important to them with just three days? They end up cutting into their sick leave and they are not sick, or they end up being asked to take a holiday, and it is certainly no holiday.
“Three days is insulting.”
Hemens said, as a business owner herslef, she knew the toll it took when someone had something going on in their personal life.
“They’re not productive or present… something as big as grief? They bring that to work. It’s impossible for them not to. So why are we forcing people to go back when its actually going to be detrimental to businesses, as well as the people that work for them?”
'Inspired to do this' by my daughter
Hemens lost her daughter, Lauren, at age 27 when she was hit by a car in Auckland.
“She was an amazing young woman… she was an absolute wild, beautiful, intelligent, disciplined, incredible young lady. I feel inspired to do this because of the type of person she was.
“She was unashamedly her. So I’ve decided to be the same.”
When Lauren died, Hemens said the family had to travel, wait to have her body released, and then travel back home.
“None of that would have been possible within three-days, and I think that I felt lucky because I was self-employed, and I took the hit financially in terms of not going back to work immediately.
“But, for a long time it’s made me think about the people who are employed, who do have to go back to work, who have no choice, and I know people like that.”
Hemens said she talked to someone recently who had lost their partner.
“She couldn’t even get her health together, her energy together, for 10 days to have the funeral. That’s fairly normal.
“Grief is a gift that keeps on giving. It will never leave me, I know that, but to have to go back to work when you probably don’t care about anything at that time when something has happened to someone that you love, you don’t care.
“Nothing is important, it puts a great deal of clarity on your life when you lose someone, and it makes you realise what your actual true priorities are. That’s what happened to me. Work was the last thing on my mind.”
Hemens said the UK had recently passed a Bill extending bereavement leave to 10 days for parents who have lost a child, and in France people were entitled to 14 days.
“There’s lots of evidence that says we are behind where we should be, in caring for our people.
“Let’s do what’s right for all New Zealanders. I want to ask [politicians] how they would feel, if they were in the position many New Zealanders are in today. If they lost a child, if they lost a partner, and they had to go back to work in three days.
“The higher earners in the country will get more time off, but the majority do not.”
1News has approached the Employers and Manufacturers Association for comment.
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