How to win at life - according to Dan Carter and Arnold Schwarzenegger

One is a Kiwi, one is (though from Austria) very much an American, both have written recipes for a successful life. As a New Zealander living in the US, James Pasley asks, what can be learned from these two titans of masculinity?

I’ve worked in the US for a while now and what I’ve noticed is your colleagues don’t really ask you personal questions, your weekends aren’t up for discussion. You are here to work, so put your little head down and get to it. Maybe it’s just the offices I’ve ended up in, but there’s never much of your outside life filtering through; no hint of despair or despondency, none of the good stuff. It’s all upbeat. It’s focused. It can be a grind.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s self-help book: Be Useful: Seven Tools For Life, is much the same. It’s apparently the seventh book he’s been involved in and acts, among other things, as a victory tour. You get to read about his three lives: weightlifting champion, Hollywood lead, and Governor of California, which is fine, but it’s almost all about the successes – the focus isn’t on the slumps. They’re mentioned – in particular, his hitting rock bottom a decade ago at the end of political career and the end of his three lives – but usually it’s a way for him to explain how he once again succeeded. Maybe there weren’t too many slumps, but I think it’s more that he never let it slow him down. He grinned and he worked and he won. He is – although from a small town in Austria – very much American.

His book is broken down into seven chapters, including ‘Have a Clear Vision’ and ‘Work Your Ass Off’. You can probably figure out the point of each chapter from its title alone and leave it at that. If not, prepare yourself for a steady formula – his point, be it "don’t have a plan B" or "expect resistance to your vision", followed by examples from his life, often from each of his three lives, followed by more examples of other famous, heroic people achieving great things. My favourite is when he nestles his turn to comedy in between Edmund Hillary climbing Mt Everest and Michelangelo continuing his work after creating the sculpture David.

Dan Carter’s book The Art of Winning: Ten Lessons in Leadership, Purpose and Potential was published three months earlier and is, in a few ways, almost the opposite. Once again chapter titles tell you pretty much everything you need to know, although this time it’s ten points corresponding to the fact he played at number 10. But unlike Schwarzenegger, Carter is happy to let the reader in. I thought –through my brother, an All Black fanatic – I knew a fair bit about him, but I had no idea how many injuries and setbacks he went through. By the end I felt for him. He opens up about feeling inadequate, about his fear of the future, of not knowing what to do. He writes about a partying incident early on in his career and getting caught drink-driving later on. He explains the process he learned for dealing with the fall out, how he now takes it hour by hour, doing simple things like writing down exactly what he is doing. The man writes in his notebook every day. Perhaps what was most memorable for me was his description of struggling to stay afloat one season after coming back from injury. Not excelling, just getting through, grinding; I found this unexpectedly comforting. It felt real and useful. Not that the book is perfect. For one thing the title is unforgivable. For another it’s written for businesses and managers. The comparisons between rugby teams and offices and management are tedious, but these are minor complaints; overall I was pleasantly surprised.

Both books are, when you get down to it, about having a dream, working hard, maintaining your vision, and succeeding. Hugely. Don’t listen to other people, don’t take shortcuts. Do the work. Hold yourself accountable. If you only have an hour free, use that hour to better yourself. Do it daily. Schwarzenegger tells his reader that if you write a page a day sooner or later you will have a book. How I dread this saying. Who has it helped? No one needs to hear it, not now, not ever. He writes repeatedly about putting in the reps, good reps, to build upon. At one point he writes, “Don’t be a lazy f***. Do the work.” At another point he writes, “Rest is for babies and relaxation is for retired people.” Carter, armed with less quippy one liners, writes about needing a greater purpose to guide you forward, to keep you motivated. He admits to needing to be selfish to be great.

Outside of Schwarzenegger’s three lives and Carter’s rugby career, the wives and children are not really a focus. Carter mentions his kids and Honor, his wife, a few times, usually guiltily, for not being there enough. Schwarzenegger, on the other hand, refers early on to the scandal of having a secret child with his housekeeper, then moves swiftly on. As I read these two books, I kept thinking about a recent RNZ interview I heard with the writer Richard Ford who was complaining about sensitivity readers. A sensitivity reader questions and changes parts of a book that are potentially offensive to readers. I can’t imagine either of these books would have needed one. They are sexless. The content is PG. The lack of drama overt. But I guess it’s self-help; if you want sordid details they’ve written other books. Schwarzenegger even tells his readers that if they’re interested, look it up on Google. Both books also felt quite modern. I’m no expert, but I can’t imagine the self-help books of last century featuring chapters about giving back. Near the end, Schwarzenegger, for instance, writes that these kinds of books can lead to people becoming selfish. He says it doesn’t need to be that way; there’s room for everyone. He tells his readers to give back and don’t be like those, “selfish superstar athletes, egotistical CEOs, and narcissistic politicians.” Similarly, Carter writes about whakapapa and the legacy of the jersey and living up to it. He tells his readers to remember the team, to put the team first.

I read both books during a daily hour-and-change commute. Often as I read them, I thought of a fact I’d heard somewhere that, on average, if you do well, you might read 2000 books in your life, and these would now be two of them. But I can admit it wasn’t all bad. There are things I will remember. I won’t forget the image of Schwarzenegger in a jacuzzi preparing a speech about the January 6 Capitol riot, or of Universal president Tom Pollock telling him he could make Twins the film, by saying: “Do you know what you just did to me? You just robbed me blind and f***ed me. That’s what you did. Congratulations.” And I won’t forget the All Blacks’ red head/blue head, a code they use for dealing with different emotions. What you want is to be in the blue – calm, clear headed and in control – and one day they realised the Haka was getting them too riled up. The team had to change. So now, Carter writes, after they perform it, this squad of massive men, who are out there on the field, watched by thousands of people, pumped up and ready to go to war, step back and focus on their breathing; on keeping calm. This I did not know and won’t soon forget.

Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life, by Arnold Schwarzenegger (Ebury Edge) RRP $42 and The Art of Winning, by Dan Carter (Penguin) RRP $40 are both out now.

James Pasley is a writer from New Zealand who lives in New York where he works in a law firm.