Australian actress Nicole Kidman says she had depression and felt “removed” from her own body during the filming of The Hours, where she played author Virginia Woolf.
The Hours, which was released in 2002, documents Woolf’s writing process for Mrs Dalloway. At the time, Woolf was struggling with her mental health.
Kidman, 54, told This Cultural Life on BBC Radio 4 she didn’t consider the consequences of taking on the role.
"I don't know if I ever thought of the danger, I think I was so in her," Kidman told This Cultural Life.
“I think I was in a place myself at that time that was removed, depressed, not in my own body.
"So the idea of Virginia coming through me, I was pretty much an open vessel for it to happen.”
Kidman won best actress in the 2003 Oscars for her performance in The Hours.
She recalled Stephen Daldry, the film’s director, being “very delicate” with her during filming because of her mental health.
"I was open to understand it, which I think is probably the beauty of life as an actor," she said.
Kidman said she was at a point where she had “traversed many different landscapes of mental health and loss”.
"I'm definitely in it. I'm definitely feeling it and definitely aware of the preciousness of it and the time. The other extraordinary thing I'm very aware of is I'm around and exposed to some of the greatest minds in the world.
“I'm the recipient of their focus. I'm grown by them, I'm taught by them, I'm shaped by them, and I'm seen by them, and that is, that is a beautiful, beautiful journey to be on.
"I hope it still continues, but I value it. I don't take any of that for granted and I know what it is. I try to stay in that place.
“I definitely don't want to shut down as I get older. I want to become rawer, and more open, more available and freer,” she said.
Her full interview with the BBC will be airing on New Year's Day.
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