One performer's emotional journey to the kapa haka stage

After years battling addiction, anxiety and depression, Charles 'Chazz' Wade has found healing and belonging through kapa haka.

For most performers competing at the Te Arawa Kapa Haka Regionals every other year, the goal is simple: qualify for Te Matatini.

But for Wade, simply stepping out on-stage for the first time was the dream.

"It was unbelievable," he said. "It was totally unbelievable."

The 48-year-old has whakapapa to Tūhourangi-Ngāti Wāhiao, a people whose lands can be found across the Rotorua Lakes District.

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For generations, tribal members have lived at the Whakarewarewa Village, a popular tourist destination known for its "penny-divers".

Wade was born in Auckland but visited as a child.

"Tourists would come through our village and toss coins from the bridge into the river," he said.

"We'd all dive in to collect it and sometimes our mouths would just be filled with coins at the end."

He could make $20 in as little as half-an-hour, he said.

"It was mean! We'd then go get us an ice cream."

Even as a boy, Wade dreamed of the stage.

"I always loved kapa haka. And I always dreamed that, one day, I would represent our whānau."

But despite a "beautiful upbringing" life wasn't easy. Wade experienced a brain injury as a baby, and later struggled at school.

"I was in the special needs classes. I was bullied and called names and picked on.

"I started drinking alcohol at the age of 12," he said.

Alcohol addiction and mental health issues followed him into adulthood.

"I've been through depression and bipolar. I suffer from really bad anxiety.

"I've been battling that for a long time."

He's now in recovery, joining a Māori health programme for men last year, called Tāne Tiaki.

That's where he learnt how to do a haka for the first time. He left inspired.

"I got encouraged to connect back to my marae," he said.

"I called my Aunty Whariki to ask if I could join the kapa haka group, even though I had never been in one before.

"I always used to think that to join a kapa haka group you had to be fluent in te reo Māori, straight out of kōhanga.

"But she said to me, 'well, nephew, it's in your DNA, come along'."

He joined Te Rau Aroha, a group whose origins stretch back to the early 90s.

Herbie Whareroa, who performs for the group, has been there from the beginning.

"We originally had one kapa haka group, which was our kuia, mostly. It was run by our Tūhoruangi rūnanga. We performed concerts and went to places like the RSA and schools," he said.

"Then we decided we needed a second group to help feed the top group, and help the younger ones coming through."

Te Rau Aroha now has about 40 performers - mostly kaumātua.

"These are the rules: No running, no jumping and no getting down on the ground!" He laughed.

The group spent many long hours practising in lead up to the regional competition, held in Rotorua last weekend.

Wade never missed a single rehearsal, determined to earn his spot on the team.

"I practised and practised," he said. "Even at home, I kept practising."

At one of the last rehearsals, the line-selection was announced.

"They started going through all the names," Wade explained.

"'And in the far left corner, we want Chazz!' I was over the moon."

As Wade stepped out on stage for the first time, his mum watched from the crowd.

"It was like a dream. Like one of my biggest dreams had just come true."

Te Rau Aroha went on to win the pakeke division, but Wade walked away with something far greater.

"Kapa haka has really helped me," he said.

"It's helped to connect me back to my marae and to all my tūpuna. But not just that. I'm representing my whānau!

"That's just the best. The best feeling ever."