From debt to phone addiction: how to avoid some all too common retirement ruts

After a lifetime of work, retirement means your time is finally your own to make the most of. Here are some time and money-wasting traps to avoid.

There’s an image frequently sold to us about retirement and it involves a lot of consumption: there you are floating around the world on a luxury cruise ship, pulling into ports and shopping like a maniac so you can come home and spoil the grandkids.

Advertising is increasingly aimed at the lucrative "silver dollar". It might be 88-year-old Jane Fonda telling you "you're worth it!” on behalf of L'Oreal. Or it might be a retirement village striving to convince you that life in one of their priceless apartments will be like a 24-hour party at a luxury resort.

The plus side is that retirement can make it a lot easier to enjoy life frugally.

However our spending and saving habits are deeply ingrained and often passed down directly from our parents. They’re hard to change at any age, but you don’t need to be a financial genius to know they’re worth sorting out post retirement.

If you've struggled with financial mismanagement in your working life – whether that be through poor budget management, or a more complex psychological issue like compulsive gambling or hoarding – there's no reason to believe that problem will be automatically resolved once your wages stop rolling in.

Fortunately, for those struggling with managing their finances, there are some free services in New Zealand that provide help.

Money Talks is a free, government-funded confidential service that connects Kiwis with trained financial mentors who can advise on everything from budgeting to debt management, benefits and scam avoidance. There are multiple ways to get in touch with them: go to moneytalks.com and start a live chat, email them on help@moneytalks.co.nz , text them on 4029 or call on 0800 345 123.

Sorted is another free, independent, government funded site. The difference between these guys and Money Talks is that Sorted is more of a self-help scenario offering tools, calculators and guides, while Money Talks will link you to an advisor who can give you personalised guidance. Both are excellent resources. Check out sorted.org.nz.

If you think scrolling addictions belong to gum-chewing, feckless teens of this world, you underestimate the multi-trillion-dollar tech behemoths who employ the finest brains on the planet (both human and not) with one goal in mind: keeping you scrolling.

Those algorithms don’t care how old you are – in fact they’re purpose-built to glean your age and specifically appeal to it.

Several studies have recently shown a huge surge in excessive phone use in the elderly, with ‘excessive’ generally quantified as being two or more hours, excluding work use, in a day. Physical impairment and social isolation are highlighted as two key causes for an elderly scrolling addiction.

But at an age when preserving your cognitive health is imperative, you’d be way better finding an offline source of stimulation such as craft, reading, puzzles or, if mobility isn't an issue, something physical like gardening or golf.

“Digitial dementia” is the term used for the alleged cognitive impact of excessive phone use, and it affects memory, attention span and concentration. While some recent studies have concluded phone use does not cause the onset of dementia in elderly people, most of us will still recognise that slightly stupid sensation of having spent too much time mindlessly scrolling.

Brain matter aside, plenty of other pitfalls lurk for the compulsive scroller. You might find yourself getting unproductively riled up about political issues, pulled into conspiracy theories or online arguments, sold things you don’t need, or drawn to compare your life unfavourably to others’. You might be made to feel overwhelmed, anxious or depressed.

And then there’s a biggy: wasted time. All those hours you yearned for when you were chained to a desk (or a digger, or a stethoscope), promising yourself that when you retired and had the time you’d read Proust, knit blankets for the homeless and climb mountains.

Now you can do as you like (within reason), do you really want to be stationary, eyes glazed, only your thumb twitching as you hand your precious hours over to an oligarch in Palo Alto, California?

But, short of throwing your phone in the lake how do you stop? Here are some tips:

Anyone who has ever stepped off the treadmill of nine-to-five knows that those with conventional jobs immediately assume your diary is wide open.

School pick-ups, airport drop-offs, vet visits – whatever they can’t cram into their busy schedules, they imagine might fit snugly into yours. And maybe you are free to help out – being available to support family and friends can be one of the joys of retirement, but it should be a choice.

Of course, for thousands of Kiwis, supporting family is not a choice. Circumstances require them to be the primary caregiver for grandchildren or other relatives. But if it’s simply a matter of people taking advantage of what they assume is your ocean of free time – time you would actually prefer to spend on your own projects – you might need to politely put some boundaries in place.

And yes, that’s easier said than done. Drawing boundaries with loved ones can feel awkward, especially if you’ve gotten this far in life without ever really doing it.

According to a Harvard Business Review study, boundary setting is about three things: clarity, consistency and calmness. (Other studies throw in a fourth C-word – compassion – use as many as you see fit).

Let people know the days and times that you’re free to help out, how much you can give on those occasions, how much notice you need and where you draw the line. Say it nicely, preferably couching it in terms of what you’d love to do, rather than what you can’t or don’t want to do.

Don’t feel guilty for claiming time as your own. Remember, this is the last third of your one precious life. Stay calm, keep cool, be concise, compassionate and crystal clear. Crikey, so many C-words...