Have you ever been told you need to speak up more at meetings? Wish you could react quicker and think on the spot? Feel the pressure to give your best answer now despite needing time to consider and reflect?
Sometimes it feels like workplaces favour the bold and outspoken, but introverts bring equally valuable traits, Jess Stuart tells Breakfast. (Source: Breakfast)
The world we live in sometimes feels like it was designed for extroverts.
The noise and busyness, always on nature of life, networking and open plan offices, back to back meetings and constant collaborations. It’s why being an introvert can feel so exhausting. It’s why we’re often told we need to change or fix ourselves in some way.
As an introvert myself this has been my experience and I find it's also all too common in the introvert clients I coach. It can lead to self doubt, underrating and comparing ourselves negatively to others and feeling "wrong" for the very things that in fact make us amazing.
The myth that you need fixing
I used to think my introversion was a weakness. I was too reserved, I should speak out more. I needed to be the life and soul of the party to be liked, to be louder at work to be noticed. It was exhausting.
I see this in others. Many of my clients will ask things like ‘how can I be more extroverted to get ahead at work?’ My approach is very much about leveraging the skills we have, not trying to be like others while dismissing our own unique gifts.
It’s easier said than done though. Living in a world that’s not made for us can lead to us feeling out of place, like we don’t belong or like there’s something wrong with us. However, much of what powers us as introverts is exactly what we need to navigate this modern world.
How do you define an introvert?
In a nutshell, introversion or extroversion comes down to how a person responds to stimulation, especially in social settings. There’s a myth that introverts are quiet or shy, but it actually means we prize deep and meaningful conversation over small talk, think before we speak and like to consider and reflect.
Crucially, it means we prefer to recharge in solitude. We can be great at socialising and stimulating conversation, especially if it’s with like-minded people who we know – we just might need a nap afterwards. (Sit me at a dinner table full of strangers or a networking event and I’ll need a day by myself to get over it!)
I love being out connecting with people but I also need time to myself to refuel. I focus better without distractions and create better when I’m in my own head. It’s why I never liked open-plan offices and love working from home. Many introverts found they thrived in lockdown.
Extroverts on the other hand get their energy from people, they like to think out loud and bounce ideas around with the group. After work they tend to prefer a dinner party to the couch and a good book.
These are of course generalisation. Most of us exist on a scale between the two (and more complex definitions, such as ambiverts and otroverts have been added to the mix). Naming these types of people isn't about rigid definitions, it's about understanding what makes you tick and when you're at your best and learning to channel it.
Your introvert superpower
Both extroverts and introverts have wonderful qualities. But research shows that introverts may have been underrated for too long.
A study published in the Journal of Neuroscience showed that introverts typically have thicker, larger gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, a brain region associated with thinking and decision-making.
Research from Wharton professor Adam Grant found that introverted leaders often get better results, because they are more likely to listen and encourage initiative rather than put their own stamp on everything.
Introverts are more likely to be self aware, high in empathy, and good listeners, which gives them more information to draw on and consider before jumping to a conclusion.
Loudest doesn't always mean smartest
Our workplaces seem to be predisposed to reward the loudest voices and those who get noticed yet there’s a quiet power at play and it has an impact. As Susan Cain says in her 2012 TED Talk “There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas". She puts it another way in her best-selling book, Quiet: “The loudest person in the room is not always the smartest".
Back in my corporate career I once observed a meeting of extroverted leaders who each talked over the other, all of them thinking aloud and essentially saying the same thing. There was one leader, Peter, who quietly sat at the end of the table taking it all in and as we got to the end of the meeting I asked him his thoughts. He’d been listening, reflecting, considering and in one short, articulate point summed up what everyone else had been trying to say the whole hour. This is the power of introverts.
Tips for thriving in the workplace as an introvert
- Allow yourself the time you know you need to think and reflect before you respond – the response will be far superior.
- Don’t apologise for needing the time and space to recharge in solitude.
- Find ways to reduce the noise and over-stimulation of your environments – and not just at work. I use ear plugs when out in in noisy spaces and have dimmed the light and colour on my screens.
- Find time to focus and space to work alone if it helps.
- Take the time to understand what makes you tick and how to leverage your strengths. This is an ongoing process.
- Stop feeling like you need to change yourself: know how to value what makes you unique.
With a background in HR, Jess Stuart is now a Waiheke-based career coach and the author of several books including: Burnout to Brilliance and I Love Mondays.
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