The best Valentine - and anti-Valentine - movies to stream this V-day

February 14, 2024

Whether you’re celebrating with your better half, your mates or by yourself, in the spirit of saving your hard-earned money why not consider a chilled out evening with some snacks and stream a good movie this Valentine's Day.

Lauren Marrion lists her favourite films for the viewing pleasure of both Valentines and anti-Valentines.

One for the romantics.

For the Valentines:

13 Going on 30 (PG)

Whimsical, cute, and funny. Appropriate for our younger viewers with parental guidance and always appropriate for anyone in love with Mark Ruffalo. A 13-year-old girl makes a wish to be older and wakes up as a successful 30-year-old magazine editor played by the wonderful Jennifer Garner. An easy feel-good V-day watch.

Just Go with it (M)

It’s a good romcom if it’s slightly predictable. It’s a great romcom if Adam Sandler stars in it alongside ‘Rachel from Friends’. Sandler stars as Danny Maccabee, a plastic surgeon who is somewhat of a womaniser. His assistant is played by Jennifer Aniston, who pretends to be Danny’s ex-wife after his new love interest discovers his hidden wedding ring in his pocket. Aniston plays the underdog up until her swimsuit scene at a Hawaiian resort, when she peaks the attention of Danny as more than just his assistant and friend. We’ve seen this movie more than once in all its romcom greatness.

Thelma & Louise (R16)

A classic tale of friendship encompassing themes of violence and more importantly, love. Best friends played by Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon set out on a wild adventure and become outlaws. Their love for one another leaves us feeling all mushy, sad, and in a sense, sombre.

Click (M)

Yes, it’s Adam Sandler again, but this time it’s all about family love. A comedy/fantasy film which sees workaholic dad and husband Michael Newman discover a remote control which rewinds, fast-forwards and sub-title real life. The brilliant cast includes Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, Jennifer Coolidge, among others. A movie about love and family which leaves you unequivocally appreciating the everyday routines in life.

A Walk to Remember (PG)

A coming of age romantic drama about friendship, love and overcoming adversity. Starring Mandy Moore and Shane West, this film follows the expected romance tropes with a surprise reveal as we invest in the characters – get the box of tissues out for this one.

Something a bit less romantic.

For the anti-Valentines:

District 9 (R16)

Aliens, slums, weapons tech, and South African accents – the epitome of an anti-Valentines Day watch which will leave you feeling every emotion but love. An alien race arrives on earth and is forced to reside in slum-like conditions in Johannesburg. Written by Neill Blomkamp (Elysium, Chappie) and produced by Peter Jackson, this is a thrilling watch which deserves the top spot on our list.

Kill Bill: Volume 1 & Kill Bill: Volume 2 (R18)

A Quentin Tarantino masterpiece, made for those of us who love watching Uma Thurman with a sword, and hate Valentines Day. An assassin is attacked by her squad and left for dead on her wedding day. After being in a coma for four years she sets out to take revenge and ultimately kill her boss, Bill. This one leaves us feeling riled up with a desire to go out and fight the baddies.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (M)

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly team up in this hilarious motorsport comedy in which top NASCAR driver (Ferrell) meets his match, played by Sacha Baron Cohen. The perfect mix of dry humour and wacky humour. Comical and entertaining. You’ll be laughing V-Day away.

Snatch (R18)

A Guy Ritchie showpiece starring Jason Statham before he became typecast and Brad Pitt as an Irish boxer. This brilliant film set in London’s underworld boasts an ensemble cast where thieves, smugglers and gangsters go in search of a stolen 86-carat diamond. This is crime comedy at its absolute best.

Apocalypto (R16)

Saving the best for last in our anti-Valentine glory, we give you, Apocalypto. Set in 1511 in the ancient Maya civilisation, a non-combative tribe see their village attacked by a group of raiders. The protagonist named Jaguar, played by Rudy Youngblood, fights to escape being sacrificed and to save his family. Themes of callous violence. Written, directed, and produced by Mel Gibson. Valentines Day will not exist in your vocabulary after this notable watch.

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