Silver Ferns captain Ameliaranne Ekenasio won't travel to England next month for netball's Nations Cup.
The Silver Ferns captain has requested to sit the tournament out, wanting to spend more time with her family.
Ekenasio said she's re-evaluated after being on leave for the past month.
"I'd had a really nice time with my family and I think it made me realise how much time I have had away from them, not only just this year but I've been in [the] Ferns for almost 10 years now and just the accumulation of time away, we've got lots going on as a family at the moment so it was just a real personal decision."
Though the decision to not play against hosts England, Australia and Uganda wasn't easy.
"I do feel a bit selfish for it because I know it's entirely centred around my family and knowing that I just need time to step away at the moment, just have a break and come back refreshed."
Ekenasio, the 27th captain of the Silver Ferns doesn't plan on giving up her role. But if the team opted for change, she'd accept the decision.
"Who knows, the team could absolutely thrive. I will definitely back the girls whoever steps into the leadership roles and just support them 100 percent. Whatever's best for the team has always been my motto in a leadership role."
The 32-year-old mother of two is renovating her home in Wellington, and she admits life is hard to juggle at the moment.
"It [netball] definitely is a choice to be in this career but it doesn't come without sacrifices. At every single point and every part of my day something is being sacrificed in order to do whatever I have to do at that time. And that just takes its toll.
"We've got heaps going on and it's really exciting, you can only put our family life on pause for so long so it's just a little breather."
Playing without Ekenasio will test the Silver Ferns, but it's something she said needs to happen.
"I won't be around forever so probably gives them some breathing room to see how it falls without me there. A massive part of our values and culture is that everybody has to lead themselves, so I think we'll see how it's sitting."
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