Climate change affects everyone but is looming especially large for children. How should we discuss this sometimes scary topic with them? Anna Murray asks an expert.
My kids ask me a lot of questions.
Where do babies come from? How do fish breathe underwater? Why is the sky blue? Why do I have to brush my teeth if they’re going to fall out soon anyway?
Usually I know what to say, even if that sometimes means a quick google on my phone.
But my nine-year-old stopped me in my tracks over dinner a couple of weeks ago with this casual query: “What is climate change?”
I chose to be as scientific as possible with the answer and mumbled something about the planet warming up.
I didn’t talk about what the warming planet means for us all. Mostly because I’m a coward who can’t face talking about an existential crisis over spaghetti Bolognese, but also because I want my children to have as long as possible before any anxious thoughts about the future creep in.
But I figure I can’t stick my head in the sand forever, so I talked to someone who knows more about children and climate change than I do.
The different ages and stages of climate chat
The most important thing a parent can do is create a space where kids can freely talk about the emotions they’re feeling and know that it’s okay to ask these types of questions, said Jo Hathaway, an intern counselling psychologist at Totally Psyched.
But, she added, it’s important to keep climate change topics age appropriate.
“If you have really young children, you could talk about environmentally friendly things to do,” she said.
This could mean talking about why food scraps are going in the compost bin or why the family is choosing to go to an event on the train or bus rather than in the car.
“You could also read books about climate change or environmental problems, like The Magic School Bus and The Climate Challenge by Joanna Cole, which can educate yourself at the same time so that you have some information to be able to share with them,” Hathaway said.
As children get older, you could research climate change together and discuss ways of making a difference in this area.
Helping kids feel empowered
Hathaway has studied eco-anxiety in New Zealand’s young people and said supporting children to take action about climate change can also help.
“I think it’s really important for kids to know that no matter how small an action, that they can make a difference. No-one can do everything, but everyone can do something,” she said.
“That really came through in my research - that feeling that they were able to actually do something was what was empowering for [young people].”
Hathaway said children, especially those around Years 7 and 8, sometimes felt a bit angry about inaction on climate change or felt a sense of loss and fear for the future.
“[But] the upside of that was the solution: ‘I want to be a caretaker for future generations; I want to be proactive and make changes.’”
Hathaway said it’s important to let children know that it’s not all on them to fix the climate crisis and that parents should model their own environmental stewardship and connection with the natural world.
Coping with current trauma
Of course, some children are already very aware of the consequences of climate change, having lived through some extreme weather events over the past year.
Rain anxiety, for example, is real and kids are not immune to those feelings.
Practising mindfulness techniques can help children who may feel anxiety whenever the weather turns bad, Hathaway said.
“Mindfulness is a really great tool that we can use to be present in the moment,” she said.
“[We can] practise breathing techniques for helping our children, so they know that in that moment, they can just take some deep breaths.
“Because when we go into that sort of ‘fight or flight’ kind of thing ... we can help them move from the sympathetic nervous system into the parasympathetic, which is the ‘rest and digest’ [mode].”
Hathaway said parents should also validate their children’s reasons for feeling nervous or a bit anxious about rain.
“[You could] really empathise, you could say, ‘It sounds like you’re feeling a bit worried about that, tell me more about that.’
“It’s really important for kids to know that it’s okay to feel those big emotions and allow them the space to talk about it, not shut it down or change the subject.”
While it’s normal for children to feel a level of concern about the environment and climate change, Hathaway said parents need to be aware if that flicks into something more.
“If they’re experiencing that really excessive anxiety and worry ... and then they find it really difficult to control that worry, that’s when it would be good to go and talk to someone professional.”
Taking care of the grown-ups, too
I stumbled through my own daughter’s questions about climate change, mostly because I was immediately gripped by my own panic about what it means for her and her little sister in the years to come.
But Hathaway said everyone in the family can benefit from open discussions about climate change.
“[When] you're open to the conversation, you really validate [your children’s] feelings,” she said.
“You're not shutting them down ... you’re building resilience for them about things, offering ongoing support for them and trying to help instill a sense of hope in a positive way.
“You’re not just talking about the doom and gloom of [climate change], but how we can be part of something bigger than ourselves - and that's going to be really beneficial for all our mental health.”
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