Sam Cane, his face still pale with shock at his red card an hour after the World Cup final defeat to the Springboks, was asked to summarise how he was feeling.
“Unfortunately, it is something I am going to have to live with forever,” he said.
The majority in the room would probably have found his response difficult to hear and watch.
Cane spoke honestly and succinctly after the devastation of the part he played in the 12-11 defeat at the Stade de France. Speaking with a dry mouth full of pain and disappointment, he honestly looked like he had seen a ghost.
Cane’s red card for a high tackle on Jesse Kriel – the first dismissal in a men’s World Cup final – was the turning point in a match referee Wayne Barnes had only the slenderest control of and unfortunately for the game the decision-making of Barnes and his assistants will also come under scrutiny.
Of course it was the turning point. No one in their right minds could think that a side could play 51 minutes without their captain and one of their best defenders and win a final. That they almost did will make them proud but will almost certainly make the pain worse.
“Just so much hurt right now,” Cane said. “It’s actually hard to find words to explain it. It’s so, so hard. I’m feeling so much hurt, but I am so proud of the group the way they fought back and gave ourselves a shot of winning that game. It speaks volumes for the group as a whole.
“It is a fantastic group of men who care so much for playing for the All Blacks and making New Zealand proud. So there is a lot of heartbreak in the sheds right now. It is hard.”
The cold truth is that they were within touching distance of it but couldn’t execute in the critical moments.
There will be plenty written now about the fickle nature of sport and the importance of luck in it. It's all relevant. So is the importance of making your goalkicks in big games; in the end Richie Mo’unga’s missed conversion and Jordie Barrett’s missed penalty were extremely costly. Handre Pollard didn’t miss one, of course.
There’s an important point to be made about discipline, too, and the All Blacks flirted on the wrong side of it too often here in France.
But it will take the cruellest of hearts to see Cane’s reaction and blame him and him alone for the defeat, especially considering how he has played in Paris over the past three weeks.
The high tackle itself was unfortunate and there appeared to be far more mitigation involved than the television match official Tom Foley gave Cane credit for. The 31-year-old was an inspiration in the All Blacks’ quarterfinal victory over Ireland and similarly good in the semifinal win over Argentina.
The debates will continue over whether his action was worthy of a red card and the difference between his hit and the head-to-head contact by South Africa skipper Siya Kolisi on Ardie Savea deemed only a yellow card offence.
“Look, at the time I wasn’t even aware, it caught me off guard that he stepped back,” Cane added. “But we have been here for two months now and anything around the head has ramifications. I’m not here to discuss whether it was the right or wrong decision. It can’t be changed.”
He finished with his dagger of a quote about having to live with it for the rest of his life.
Head coach Ian Foster, who now departs without the victory he and his team craved, have already rallied around Cane and so have his teammates, including veterans Sam Whitelock, Brodie Retallick and Aaron Smith, who are also leaving.
Midfielder Rieko Ioane said: “The game wasn’t won or lost with Sammy’s red card and, you know, we still back Sammy to the death and we’ve seen that.
“And if this is going back home then everyone in New Zealand should be proud of the way that he’s led our boys and we have the upmost respect for him. One moment doesn’t define a man and although he feels he has to carry that burden, the boys are still hugely proud of him and all of his efforts.
“Tonight wasn’t the night but hey look – there’s going to be other moments.”
For his part, Foster was wary of appearing to be a sore loser when discussing the incident in the 29th minute but made a good point when he said: “There was an attempt to wrap. There didn't seem to be a lot of force in the contact. The hit on Ardie [by Kolisi] had a lot of force going into that contact and a direct contact on the head so the game has got a few issues it's got to sort out.
“That's not sour grapes. There were two different situations with different variables and one was a red card, one was a yellow. That's the game."
TMO Foley’s willingness to get involved in the game will also feature in a few conversions after the next week or so. Certainly, the Englishman appeared to already have a reputation with the All Blacks.
Here’s Foster: "It’s probably for the game to decide at some point. It's not tonight. We got the same behaviour from that TMO that we got in the Irish series last year, same TMO. So we expected what we got."
Cane got through his inquisition alongside Foster and left to mild applause from some of those in attendance.
He was probably already thinking about what he would say to his teammates and friends and family and indeed the New Zealand public as a whole but presumably and hopefully he need not worry too much.
"I think we've all seen the way Sam has contributed to the game, our team behind the scenes,” Foster added before he left the stage with Cane.
“He's been fantastic, worthy of being captain of the All Blacks, which is a fantastic honour and a privilege and I think he's carried that magnificently well and I am incredibly proud of him. I am incredibly proud to coach him.”
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