It's been almost five years, but Erin Nelson still remembers the numbing words shouted down the phone when she found out her older brother had been killed.
"It's Robert. Robert's been shot. Robert's been shot. He's dead," her mum spluttered through her uncontrollable cries.
With just 11 months and two weeks between them, Erin and Robert had developed a close bond growing up together in Hamilton.
For one fortnight each year, they celebrated being the same age - Robert's 23rd birthday marking the last time they would share that special time together.
Erin told 1News: "Now that it's coming up to five years, I'm approaching 27 and it's real now. It didn't feel real for a really long time. I'm only just starting to feel the pain."
On July 8, 2018, while Robert was staying the night with his girlfriend, Kahlee Marfell, at her family home when gunmen pushed their way inside the door and opened fire.
The address wasn’t picked at random. Kahlee's stepdad is Mark ‘Griff’ Griffiths – a once-longstanding member the Waikato Mongrel Mob. He’s currently in jail awaiting sentencing on drug possession and supply charges.
"That was who they were trying to kill," Erin explains.
Kahlee remembers opening the door that night knowing something was wrong when the people on the doorstep asked for ‘Mark’.
Speaking for the first time ever about the night, she told 1News: "No one uses my dad's real name. If you know him, you know him as Griff, and where he is.
“I shut the door, that's when the first bullet went off and they shot me in the arm. I looked down and I just screamed and ran down to my room.”
Kahlee began yelling at Robert to go out the window but “he thought he could negotiate with them”.
Robert never got the chance. He was fatally shot in the chest trying to protect her.
She said: “As he was shot, he was jumping over me. His body was my lifeline. I lost the love of my life.”
Kahlee received a second gunshot wound to her leg. Her cousin, who was a minor at time, heard the commotion and went into the room. He was shot eight times, including the face, stomach, legs and arms.
“They would have thought he was my dad but he did survive,” Kahlee said.
Five years on, police still don't know who fired the gun that killed Robert or who raided the home that night.
Erin’s parents are "broken people", having never recovered from the pain of losing their "kind" young son.
"They're inconsolable. They're really good people but they struggle," Erin said.
"My parents don't know who killed their child. I just don't think you can repair a hole if you don't know what's caused it in the first place.
"How are you supposed to forgive someone that has no face? You can't even humanise them or sympathise with them or understand what was going on if you don't even know who they were.
"I would like to forgive, I will never forget but I'd like to move forward and go 'OK, there's some justice'."
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She fights through feelings of disappointment and frustration - mostly at the police's handling of the investigation, believing there is so much more to be done.
Police told 1News they’re still investigating the death and are determined to hold those responsible accountable, but Erin says more needs to be done.
She said: "We just want closure at this point. I walk around the world thinking someone is going to gun me down.
Erin doesn't see her parents who still live in Hamilton as much as she'd like to. Being there for more than two days at a time makes her physically ill.
She said: "I get really bad anxiety, I vomit, I get really sick."
But the trauma has also altered her outlook on life.
In any environment, Erin will look for the nearest exits just in case there's a shooting or someone goes on a rampage.
Erin said: "That's my first instinct whenever I go somewhere now is to go, 'OK, I can hide here, I can get out here'.
"I have a deep distrust for people.
"Every time I see a shooting or something where someone gets murdered, it literally takes my entire breath away and destroys my being all over again because it just repeats in my head."
She wants the police investigating her brother's case to do more, feeling brushed off and left out of the loop.
"The police are not very communicative. They haven't really spoken to us. If they do, it's 'we can't tell you anything at this stage but we're making progress' - but there's never really any progress."
Erin was living just a block over from Kahlee's family home where her brother died. She, her mum and Robert and their youngest brother Koenraad all worked together in hospitality.
When she got a call from her mum, she couldn't figure out what was going on at first.
She said: "I couldn't understand her, I didn't know she was crying. Then she finally got the words out."
Erin told her flat mate and was taken to the hospital. Robert's body wasn't there yet because it was part of an active crime scene.
"I just lay on the ground and cried. Then we went back to my parent's house at the time where Robert lived and I just sat in his room and thought 'I need to be strong from here'," she said.
As she thinks about the great loss her family have been through.
She said: "It's not something that will define me, it definitely defines a lot of my actions, but I'm trying to live as large as possible.
"Robert was going to go overseas and do cool stuff and he never got to do it. I try to live for the both of us."
Detective Senior Sergeant Scott Neilson told 1News that police continue to investigate the death of Robert in July 2018.
He said: “A number of people have been spoken to as part of this complex investigation and police would still like to hear from anyone who has information relating to Robert's death.
“We are unable to comment further at this time for operational reasons and to avoid jeopardising an on-going investigation.
“All pieces of information provided to police have been assessed and followed up further as required.
“We acknowledge this has been an extremely difficult nearly five years for his family, but we have assured them that police remain committed to holding to account the person or persons responsible for Robert's death.”
Anyone with information is asked to contact police on 105 quoting file number 180708/5778.
Alternatively, information can be provided anonymously via Crime Stoppers on 0800 555 111.
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