Sexual abuse counsellor Alexander Stevens II says his doctorate research has uncovered a disturbing truth. He says all but one of the 30 Māori men he interviewed had been sexually abused by women.
These women came a variety of backgrounds, ethnicities and relationships. But they all had one thing in common.
“They were people who had really integrated themselves into people’s lives,” Stevens said.
“Grooming these boys in childhood into what would become sexual relationships later on.”
These female perpetrators, Stevens says challenge the common perceptions of who sexual predators are.
Standing tall in a world of pain
Stevens says these tāne Māori struggle to come to get the help they need to heal.
“They often tried to find information online and were just unsuccessful,” he said.
The inability to deal with this trauma he says, can drive victims to use alcohol and drugs to self-medicate.
There is a pressing need, he adds for a national survey of what services are available and where they can be accessed.

To address that issue, Stevens has launched a website, called StandingTallNZ.org. The site has a variety of resources including 0800 numbers to help tāne of all ethnicities to heal.
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