Highlanders loose forward Liam Squire has opened up about the mental health struggles he endured in the build up to the 2019 Rugby World Cup that were made worse by comments of a former coach.
Squire shocked All Blacks fans when he declared himself unavailable for selection for the tournament so he could focus on his mental recovery – an issue that had been brought on in part by injuries during the 2019 Super Rugby season.
However, Squire said there was also an inadvertent comment made by then-Highlanders coach Aaron Mauger at the time which didn’t help him.
At the time, Mauger told reporters asking why Squire wasn’t playing in a game that the 23-Test All Black was unavailable due to “personal, family issues” – a comment Squire told The XV was incorrect.
"Obviously, I missed that game against the Jaguares for the Highlanders and when it sort of got all out in the public why I didn't play, it caught me off guard," Squire told The XV.
"I didn't know how to, all of a sudden, deal with this added pressure of people asking what was going on. I was never especially keen on it going public because I didn't feel like it was anyone's business but my own.
"Something that I'm not really comfortable with is being in the limelight."
A coping mechanism Squire had developed to deal with his issues was to shut out the public and those asking questions instead of playing rugby – a response that got harder as he became a prominent All Black.
"People that are close to me knew that over the last two or three years I struggled with being in that spotlight, in the All Blacks, and having the added pressure of all of New Zealand critiquing how you play and all that," he said.
After the Rugby World Cup squad was named and loose forward Luke Jacobson was a bolter named in his place, it was revealed Squire had made himself available for the All Blacks in Japan should they need him as a reserve.
However, in the end Shannon Frizell travelled to Japan for an injured Jacobson.
After missing last season with a stint in Japan, Squire is back in the New Zealand rugby scene with the Highlanders, preparing in the deep south for the upcoming Super Rugby Aotearoa competition.
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