Family violence refuge fully booked out over weekend as pressure mounts

An Auckland family violence refuge says it would likely have had to pay for women and children to stay in hotels and motels this weekend, because their beds are full.

Shine Refuges has two safe houses, but only one of the 10 beds was available on Friday.

Presbyterian Support Northern oversees Shine and social services general manager Grenville Hendricks said family violence escalated at this time of year, when financial pressure mounts.

"We've got one bed and the email that went out to our after-hours staff is, if somebody comes in, you're going to have to put them into the hotel and we're going to have to say to our lines we're actually full up at the moment."

Hendricks said they would check availability at other refuges, but many were experiencing high demand.

"This is not going to be unusual," he said. "This is going to be particularly usual and commonplace over the December period.

"We've got a really good arrangement with the hotels and motels, and so that helps us. We try and keep that to a minimum, because we have to carry the cost of that as well.

"What I've noticed is a steady increase in the numbers of people accessing the refuge, which is a bit concerning, but we do also have a spike, particularly around Christmas time," he said.

"Over the last year or so, things have been exacerbated with the cost-of-living pressures, with the high unemployment rates, the job insecurity, there's been more redundancies, the cost of living, the food banks [demand] has gone up as well.

"All of these things go hand in hand, because you'll find that domestic violence is linked in with financial pressures, is linked in with mental health, is linked in with food insecurity."

He said donations paid for the refuge and it would like the government to fund more refuge beds.

Hendricks said policy settings, such as the tightening of access to emergency housing, had impacted people needing their services.

"It's commonsense that other parts of the system are going to have huge demand and their numbers are going to start to increase."

Shine Refuges said one woman wanted to share her experience to help with the service's Christmas appeal.

Hannah (not her real name) said few people knew about the violence she and her children endured, but she hoped to encourage anyone in similar situations to seek help.

She said her now ex-husband's violence escalated over years, from breaking the furniture to other forms of control.

"Before we got married, [he] would be so kind, carrying things for me, cooking for me… but even then, he could suddenly become violent - breaking the furniture and smashing my phone," she said. "Afterwards, he'd persuade me it wouldn't happen again… and I would believe him."

He gradually controlled every aspect of her life, isolating her from her friends and family to the point, she and her children had to ask permission to use the toilet.

Hannah said the turning point came one night, when he began strangling her.

"I thought that I was going to die," she said. "My baby daughter was right there.

"Then he just stopped and said, 'I nearly killed you'. At that moment, in my heart, I knew this had to stop, if not for me, for my children.

"I waited until he was asleep, went into my son's room and told him to pack his things, that we were going. I packed my baby daughter's things and called 111."

Hannah said the police took them to a refuge and she was able to get back on her feet.

"Shine was amazing. My advocate arranged counselling for the children and I, a bank account, a car to get my son to school, a lawyer, clothing, food and later housing.

"When you have nothing, that means the world."

rnz.co.nz